- "Will I ever find love?" 17 things that may stop you from finding "the one"
- 1) You ask too much of people
- Move Over Online Dating! Virtual Reality Is The Future Of Finding Love
I myself was happily single for years and yet deep down, there was still that expectation of finding love one day. I felt alone all my life—in my family, among friends, and even in the long-term relationship I once had. That was probably why I always secretly yearned for that special someone who would understand me at the deepest level and love me the way I would like to be loved. Someone who would take away my loneliness…. I knew love was also about the joy of giving and being there for another person.
However, my need for love was ultimately a desire for support and assurance. After all, being single never bothered me when life felt great in every way! It suddenly struck me, what if I went through the rest of my life never meeting this perfect someone? Could I somehow give myself the support and assurance needed? Finding love was an exhausted topic.
However, while the concept of love was broad, when it came to finding love , people almost exclusively meant love for and from another being. When we felt the desire for love, we therefore naturally sought it out of ourselves. What if, by finding enough love from within, we no longer felt the need for that special someone? It was easier to ignore my problems believing that the solutions to them were already out there in the form of this great love that I, like most people, would eventually find.
"Will I ever find love?" 17 things that may stop you from finding "the one"
It was comforting to think that once this love was found, life would suddenly become better without me having to work anything out. The perfect partner would halve the weight of my life responsibilities, take away my moments of fears, and increase my happiness tenfold—so I hoped. And that was not exactly a comfortable thought.
A terrible thing: no one to blame! The hope for a magical solution someday took away the pressure of this moment, but with it went the power to impact my own life today. Then, as if to test my resolve to find love and courage from within, life threw me a month of inner turmoil. My fears, doubt, and confusion were so consuming that for weeks I felt physically weak. I had given myself twelve months to freely learn and develop, taking the risks I would not have considered in my previous corporate life.
In the spirit of embracing the unknown, I had been going wherever passion and opportunities took me.
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What if I did not have what it took to build a career on my own terms? What if the impact I wanted to make in the world was no more than an indulgent dream? Did I just let my ego take over when rejecting outright the idea of going back to full-time employment? Had I abandoned my responsibilities to myself and my family in this heady place of living a passion?
1) You ask too much of people
Alone in what seemed like a fight for sanity, I desperately searched for a way to give myself the support needed. Load more. View shop. All Artists. Other pages. Finding Love Aluminium.
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Trying reducing the deposit amount to view payment plans. Please select a different payment plan or try reducing your deposit amount to see more payment plans. Select frame. Author and life coach John Kim advises :. Until you die. If you always pick someone up in a bar, trying hanging out in a different place next Friday night. And baby, it sounds like you might be the problem. If you fall into this category, the solution is to stop talking and start listening. Rather than trying to be the star of the show, let your date be the star of the show.
Ask them questions, and refrain from making comments. If you put your foot in your mouth more than on the dancefloor, sit tight. Let your listening skills represent you until you are more comfortable around your current love interest. Remember that you are worthy of love, but that you can focus on loving yourself in the meantime.
Trying to find love to make your life complete is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Another human being cannot complete your life, despite what you might have seen in every romantic comedy movie ever made. According to psychiatrist Dr. Abigail Brenner:. You may be able to make better choices and decisions about who you are and what you want without outside influence. Fix yourself, and love will find you. But not in the place you expect: it will come from inside. That boyfriend or girlfriend? In order to find love, and to allow love to find you, you need to believe that you are worthy of being loved.
According to therapist and author Ann Smith:. This can take time and requires a partnered effort. You and your partner need to work together to find out what kind of love works for you. Psychologist and marriage therapist Randi Gunther says :. The first step is to recognize what you are doing and to understand how you gave up your right to take love in.
Before you head out looking for love you need to ditch your must-haves list of things you are looking for a new partner and starting thinking about people in a new way.
You might find that the flaws someone has is what makes them most authentic and real. You also need to accept yourself the way you are and be opened to how people will receive you. You need to set yourself free from whatever holds others have on you as well. Before you get into that relationship though, you need to learn to lead with kindness and not judgment. Looking for love is a difficult thing because love changes over time. If your search is taking a particularly long time, as it often does for some, you might find it difficult because you are still using criteria your year-old self created.
You might need to check in with yourself once in a while to see if you still want the things you wanted when you began your search for love. And finally, you need to ask yourself if your quest for love is still really even what you want to be pursuing anymore? That answer, too, may change with time. Do you want to stare down your challenges and overcome any obstacles? I will never find love because I have had depression all my life and was never able to get a career or job and live with my parents. I have had no relationship longterm, casual, one night, in twenty years.
Move Over Online Dating! Virtual Reality Is The Future Of Finding Love
I could go on but you get the idea. It has never been an obstacle for me and I have never used a checklist approach. In the end, the set of possibilities is determined subjectively.